Empathy Map: Prompt Cards
Get inside someone else's head. For real this time.
by
Alex EisenchteterFounder of I Love Cards
About
What this deck is and how to use it.
Empathy Map: Prompt CardsGet inside someone else's head. For real this time.
Empathy Map: Prompt Cards
Get inside someone else's head. For real this time.
The Empathy Map, created by Dave Gray at XPLANE, is a framework for building genuine shared understanding of another person's experience. It surfaces six lenses: Says, Thinks, Does, Feels, Pains, and Gains. The gold is in the gaps: what someone says out loud rarely matches what they privately think, feel, or actually do. This deck gives your team a random prompt into any one of those six lenses, keeping the conversation specific and usefully uncomfortable. Pick a subject, draw a card, and find out how much you were assuming.
Says
What comes out of their mouth, and what they're careful never to say out loud.
Empathy Map: Prompt Cards
SaysWhat comes out of their mouth, and what they're careful never to say out loud.
Says
Says
What phrase does this person use so often that the people around them could finish the sentence?
Says
Says
What do they say they want from us that probably isn't what they actually want?
Says
Says
What do they complain about, and what do they conspicuously never complain about?
Says
Says
What's the version of events they tell about their relationship with us that makes them look good?
Says
Says
What do they say in front of the group versus what they say when it's just two of you?
Says
Says
When they give us positive feedback, which part of it do you actually believe?
Says
Says
What question do they ask us repeatedly that they probably already know the answer to?
Says
Says
What have they said once and then never mentioned again?
Says
Thinks
The private narrative running underneath everything they say.
Empathy Map: Prompt Cards
ThinksThe private narrative running underneath everything they say.
Thinks
Thinks
What does this person believe about us that they've never said directly to our faces?
Thinks
Thinks
If they kept a private scorecard of how things are going, what would it say right now?
Thinks
Thinks
What assumption are they making about this situation that nobody has bothered to correct?
Thinks
Thinks
What do they privately think about how good we actually are at what we do?
Thinks
Thinks
What comparison are they making between us and someone else they work with?
Thinks
Thinks
What's the story they tell themselves about why the current situation exists?
Thinks
Thinks
What do they think is going on behind the scenes on our side that they haven't asked about?
Thinks
Thinks
What have they already decided that they think is still an open conversation?
Thinks
Thinks
What do they think we need from them that we're too polite to say out loud?
Thinks
Thinks
What would they privately say is the most overrated thing about what we offer?
Thinks
Thinks
What do they believe about their own role in any problems they're experiencing?
Thinks
Does
Observable behaviors, regardless of what they tell you they do.
Empathy Map: Prompt Cards
DoesObservable behaviors, regardless of what they tell you they do.
Does
Does
What workaround have they quietly built that suggests our solution isn't quite doing the job?
Does
Does
What do they do when something goes wrong that they'd deny if you asked them?
Does
Does
What's the first thing they do when they interact with us, and what does that reveal?
Does
Does
What do they do more of when they're under pressure that probably makes things harder, not easier?
Does
Does
Where do they invest more time than the outcome justifies?
Does
Does
What decisions do they keep delaying in ways that create problems for everyone downstream?
Does
Does
What do they do to prepare for interactions with us, and what does that preparation reveal about what they expect?
Does
Does
Who do they talk to before they come to us, and why that person?
Does
Does
What do they do after our interactions that suggests they weren't fully satisfied but didn't want to say so?
Does
Feels
The emotional texture of their experience, from background hum to full volume.
Empathy Map: Prompt Cards
FeelsThe emotional texture of their experience, from background hum to full volume.
Feels
Feels
What emotion is probably running in the background of every interaction they have with us, even when things seem fine?
Feels
Feels
Where do they feel most out of their depth, and do we actually know about it?
Feels
Feels
What would make them feel genuinely respected rather than just serviced?
Feels
Feels
What do they feel proud of that we've never acknowledged?
Feels
Feels
Where do they feel judged by us, fairly or not?
Feels
Feels
What makes them feel like their time is being wasted, even if they'd never say it directly?
Feels
Feels
What does relief look like for this person, and when did we last give it to them?
Feels
Feels
What do they feel uncertain about in their own organisation that spills into how they work with us?
Feels
Feels
What would embarrass them in front of their peers or manager, and are we a factor in that risk?
Feels
Feels
What are they quietly hoping we'll notice without them having to ask?
Feels
Feels
Where do they feel more confident than the situation probably warrants?
Feels
Pains
The friction, fear, and frustration between them and what they want.
Empathy Map: Prompt Cards
PainsThe friction, fear, and frustration between them and what they want.
Pains
Pains
What's the thing they've stopped mentioning because they've accepted it as unfixable?
Pains
Pains
Where do they spend energy they resent spending?
Pains
Pains
What frustrates them every day, and what actually keeps them up at night?
Pains
Pains
What are they afraid will happen if this doesn't work out?
Pains
Pains
What obstacle have they been navigating around for so long that they've stopped seeing it as an obstacle?
Pains
Pains
Where do they feel held back by something outside their control?
Pains
Pains
What does failure look like from their perspective, and is it the same thing we'd call failure?
Pains
Pains
What risk do they carry that we haven't acknowledged?
Pains
Pains
What has to go wrong twice before they'll say something?
Pains
Pains
What do they privately wish we'd stop doing, but would never tell us directly?
Pains
Gains
What success actually looks and feels like from their side.
Empathy Map: Prompt Cards
GainsWhat success actually looks and feels like from their side.
Gains
Gains
What would 'this worked even better than I hoped' actually look like from their side?
Gains
Gains
What do they want to be able to tell someone else at the end of this?
Gains
Gains
If we solved their stated problem perfectly, what deeper problem would still be sitting there?
Gains
Gains
What would make them feel like they made a smart decision in working with us?
Gains
Gains
What do they want to avoid more than they want to gain?
Gains
Gains
When things go well, what do they get credit for internally?
Gains
Gains
What would they describe as an unexpectedly good experience of working with us?
Gains
Gains
What's the thing they'd love to stop worrying about?
Gains
Gains
What does progress feel like to them at the moment they first notice it?
Gains
